All it Takes is One

The thing about first dates is that eventually…one of them is going to be your last first date. That’s what makes each one exciting. The hope. The promise. The potential. Is THIS going to be the night that puts you on the road to all the other things you want in that area of life? A constant willing adventure partner. A road trip companion. A readily available faithful lover. Babies.

Will THIS be the story? The one you tell for as long as you both shall live? Will people ask you how you met, and be met with the magic of this evening?

All it takes is one.
All it takes is one.

Looking for love on the Internet makes sense because we’re all spending more and more time on the Internet. And people find love on the Internet. There are success stories.

I clap my hands because I believe.

I’d love to randomly come across the man I’ll spend the rest of my life with during my daily activities. I am always asking people how they met because there are so many possibilities.

Take, for instance, my parents. My mom was 18 and working at AT&T. My dad was dating one of her coworkers. One day he called the office and my mom answered. He asked for his girlfriend, but she had called in sick to work that day. So he asked my mom what SHE was doing for lunch.

Forty-three years later, they have four kids, seven grandchildren, and quite the story! (If memory serves, my mom reconnected with the original gf on fb and whatever hard feelings there were back then have dissipated.)

I love that story. And maybe one day when my kid asks me, depending on how my own thing plays out, I might just tell the story of how gpa met gma instead.

My malaise for logging on to love is compounded by my need to also currently be seeking employment via the world wide web.

Computers can do incredible things worldwide and basically keep so many parts of the Earth functioning, but they can’t find me a successful relationship or a job? That’s a tough pill to swallow.

But the thing is, I’m going to get another job, just like I’m going to meet new guys.

All it takes is one.

While I’d prefer an offline meet-cute, I can’t deny the benefits of the numbers. You can go on as many or as few dates as you want, and what you learn on those dates is what you do and don’t like.

Bee tee dubs… If he checks his phone, closes out his tab after buying his first drink, and tells you he’s really tired and has an early morning…He’s just not that into you. And that’s ok. Because in a minute you’re going to find out he drives a $150k car. Because he tells you. (Don’t worry he’ll show it to you when he walks you to your car.) And that kind of thing doesn’t rev your engines. (When you laugh at the sight of the car, he’ll ask you to stop laughing and you won’t. Because screw him.) Sure you’ll fight the urge to ask for a quick ride, because you can see that it would probably be fun. But then you remember that this is LA, and you’re standing on a main surface street, and the chance of seeing that baby go faster than 30 mph is a longshot.

At your car, you hug and he says “we should do this again” and it actually sounds hollow. But you can’t blame him, because you’ve said that when you didn’t mean it too.

(Guess who had a date last night?)

It’s hard to not be a little bummed, but I get it. You’re not going to like everyone. And you can’t help who you’re attracted to. Neither can they. Which reminds me of some advice I heard somewhere. I have since googled it, and found it all over the interwebs, but I can’t for the life of me remember where I heard it originally. What’s important is that it changed the way I dated, and made a huge difference. When preparing for a first date, don’t go into it thinking, “I hope he likes me.” Go into it thinking, “I hope *I like *him.” Because ultimately, THAT’S what matters. It seems like such a tiny bit of mind alteration, but it really does change the way you prepare and carry yourself into that first meeting. The thing is, people are people. You’re going to like certain people, and in turn, certain people are going to like you. It’s the timing of finding someone YOU like who also likes you that has proved to be a little tricky for me.

Luckily all it takes is one.

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3 Responses to All it Takes is One

  1. Suzan Bargen says:

    My sweet Mary Anne,
    I pray your dreams come true, it is my hope for you. I love you and want so much for you to have your own How we met story soon.
    BTW, I worked at S W Bell, Dad worked at AT&T. Which doesn’t change the story. Barb never held anything against me. She came to my shower and wedding.
    Love reading your blog, of course this one is special. Love you lots, Mom.

  2. I hope you find exactly the right person. I do believe that things happen when they are meant to. I met my husband at the family picnic and I didn’t think he was impressed at all, but then I found out he told his mom he would marry me someday!

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