Baby’s First Bikini Wax

Dear Dad, you can skip this one.

In a blog about new experiences, things might sometimes get a little not-parent-friendly. But when it came to the decision to write about getting my first bikini wax, I discussed it with a couple of friends, and learned that a lot of people (who haven’t had them) don’t know what to expect.

I shared that same nervous fear. Which is why I’m here. To tell you: it’s not that bad.

A little background on my relationship with hair removal. (Dad, I warned you.) I’m RELIGIOUS about waxing my eyebrows and quelquefois (sometimes) my upper lip. There’s no shame in it. It’s no mustache, but I know those little blonde hairs are there and I don’t want them to be. So every other time (or so) that I get my brows done, I take a little off the top (lip).

Mostly because my lady will say (in her nice sweet Vietnamese-accented voice): You want the lip too? And I get all panicky because OH MY GOSH I CAN’T HAVE A MUSTACHE.

As far as the rest of my body, I turned to laser hair removal a couple of years ago. Treatments have been intermittent, but for the most part, my underarms and bikini line are pretty low maintenance.

Mostly because, in my getting-ready regimen, I am low maintenance.

In my fantasy world, my legs are next. I mean, who wants to worry about shaving their legs on a regular basis? Some may call it lazy, but I call it awesome.

Ok. So today. I shaved my legs, got my eyebrows waxed, and headed down to Stark for the first waxing below the belt.

All before noon! Woo hoo! So productive!

But, MAB (you might ask), didn’t you just say you were lasered? Why the need for a bikini wax? Well I’m not completely done with all my sessions, and with the cruise coming up, I didn’t want to be bothered with any maintenance. I mean, if I have it my way, I will be living in a bathing suit for four days straight.

I took two Advil about a half an hour before my session. I’m used to eyebrow waxing and the laser hair removal, so I had a little bit of confidence when it came to my pain threshold. But, again, no real idea what I was getting myself into.

I definitely prepared myself (as much as you can) for something like this: (Warning: language.)

I heard this place used “hard wax”…wherein they don’t use the paper strips, but pull off the actual wax. I guess that’s supposed to be less painful and more hygienic? Whatever gets the job done.

I met my esthetician and we headed into a room similar to most exam rooms, except the tops of the rooms were open. Like if I screamed, people would hear me. Screaming was not an option.

I lamented not having my bikini bottoms with me, and she offered up a pair of disposable string bikini panties.

I’m not sure whether to credit the laser hair removal or korean spa visit or just plain growing up, but I didn’t hesitate to drop trou right in front of this perfect stranger. (Maybe it’s not too late for that stripping career?) (FYI She had started to leave the room, and completely offered me full privacy, so if you need that, don’t worry…it’s available.) We had a brief convo about modesty and the lack thereof, and she assured me that once I have a baby it will be completely gone.

She got to work and we started talking and it wasn’t awkward at all. Maybe it was how nice she was or that we were having legitimate conversations, but it was over very quickly.

And here’s the good news: I found it much less painful than laser hair removal, and not all that different from getting your eyebrows waxed. Definitely nothing to be dreaded, unless maybe (not to get too graphic) you have hair halfway down your thighs, which, according to my esthetician, apparently people do.

Honestly, the most difficult/uncomfortable thing for me was my ticklishness. See also: laser treatments, pedicures, massages, and basically most things that involve someone else touching me.

Another new experience in the can, and now I’m super cruise/neon swimsuit ready! (I know you’re all relieved!)

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One Response to Baby’s First Bikini Wax

  1. Dad says:

    I know I’ll sleep better tonight!!! Dad

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