I Work Out

At least I did today.

We’ll see how long it lasts, but I started Jillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred.

My neighbor has the Blu-Ray and I figure waking up and going to her house is kinda like going to a gym. Ok, not really. It’s like a 10-foot walk from my door to hers.

I’ve never been a workout regular. I stuck it out with S Factor for four levels back in 2005, and that’s about as good as it’s been. I did a boot camp in Vegas, but we moved back to LA before I finished the whole six weeks. Cardio Barre. Check. Bomb Body Workout. Been there, done that too. I would even go in the mornings before work. Like real exercisers. Sure it was because I was hot for teacher, but whatevs. (One time I ran into him at Urth Cafe (so LA) and he was with a girl and I was immediately back in high school, unreasonably broken-hearted and rambling like an idiot. Kinda like now.)

Short attention span alert. I’ve never joined a gym long-term because my lack of discipline in this area tells me it would be a waste of money.

So I mainly do cardio. Walking, biking, hiking, and stairs in the neighborhood. And yoga. Give me a $5 drop-in yoga class and I’ll show up. Maybe. If my friends are going and I can find a parking spot.

But I’m getting older and I REALLY love Nutella. So something’s gotta give.

It’s definitely more about toning as I’m not looking to lose weight. I just want to tighten things up. (I hope you’re seeing Alan Tudyk in Knocked Up right now, because I am.)

Back to Shred. I do have to say: Yes the workout is only 20 minutes, but she really makes you sweat. Full on C + C Music Factory style. And it’s like she can see you, even tho she’s on the tv. Full disclosure: during boot camp I would stop doing anything when the teacher turned his back. Just like in PE when I was younger. This whole not enjoying working out thing isn’t new. But Jillian’s all, “It’s a 20 minute work out. It’s not going to work if you quit to take a break.” And I’m all, she’s right. I can do this. Then she talks about how 400-pound people can do what you’re doing right now and I’ve seen The Biggest Loser so I know she speaks the truth.

So I’m giving it a go. But I’m not going to get crazy about it. Even tho today I did both Shred and yoga, that won’t happen every day.

Bee-tee-dubs. Sometimes there is live music at yoga, but tonight there were gongs. And we were laying there and the gong guy (that’s his official name) was playing them so loud that I decided I had never in my life heard anything that loud. I imagine it was what being inside a jet engine must sound like. It got so deafening at one point that I thought it couldn’t possibly get louder and it did and I thought I was going to lose my mind. The girl next to me was covering her ears. Another was looking around like I was to make sure other people were freaking out a little bit too.

I kept holding on to the fact that if I could just get through it, there would be quiet on the other side. And there was. And then I was laying there thinking about how much it was a metaphor for issues we face in life. They might unexpectedly get worse but if we can just hold on a little bit longer. The calm will come. And then I was wondering if I was finally getting this whole yoga/meditation thing except for the fact that I felt like I was thinking too much for it to be actual meditation. But I was figuring things out!

It was reminiscent of a revelation I had earlier in the day. It was another beautiful one here in LA. Sunny with temps in the 80s. People who enjoy weather can have it, because I am loving this. So there I was outside marveling at the gorgeous blue sky and I was like, LA just doesn’t give up. And then the words of the great Wilson Phillips came to mind.

“Don’t you know things can change
Things’ll go your way
If you hold on for one more day”


It was like that was the message I was supposed to receive today and in case I didn’t figure it out the first time, it literally got louder the second. If only everything were that clear!

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