Last May (2010) a teen mom changed her mind. And my life. I don’t mean to be dramatic, but the idea that I could be chasing an 18-month old while saying “Mommy’s going to get you” is a pretty incredible dichotomy from the life I’m actually living.
In the past year and a half I have taken last minute trips to Washington DC, New York City (twice!), Kauai, Austin, Las Vegas, San Diego (several times), Nashville, and Haiti. I spent five weeks traipsing through southern Africa, including a 3-week stint volunteering in a township (complete with safety risks!). I won’t go as far as to say none of those jaunts would have happened had I ended up with the baby – as I plan to continue traveling when I do have kids – but I’m pretty sure several of them wouldn’t have. At least not in the manner they did.
In the past 18 months, I’ve had short-term relationships I knew wouldn’t amount to much. I went from working 80 hours a week to quitting my jobs because I wanted to go to Africa, and then – after returning – discovered there was more to life than what I was doing.
All of those things were fine because my choices only affected me. However, none of those things are signs of a super responsible single mom. So does that mean I wasn’t ready? I don’t think so.
This isn’t a blog about things I can do because I don’t have kids yet. This is a blog about things I can do because I’m alive. The ability to try something new exists every day. It‘s taking life by the horns and seizing those opportunities. And that’s something we can all do.
I’ve had the philosophy for most of my life to go, be, and do. I possess no super powers. I’m no different from you, and that’s what I want you to know. You can do it too. My new experiences may not be up your alley, and some days you may be surprised to find that something I’ve never done, you do all the time. Or maybe you did it when you were like, 8.
Truth be told, I was supposed to spend the past six months of job freedom writing. I was supposed to finish a screenplay for a film treatment a friend and I wrote years ago. I was supposed to write a sitcom spec. And, well, I was supposed to write…about anything and everything, and as much as possible. I could show you the two songs I have to show for it, but since I don’t know how to write music – and can’t really play an instrument -I guess they’re really just poems. And not the amazing Robert-Frost kind.
So this blog – and you – are my accountability. I’ve canceled (ok SUSPENDED) my DirecTV. (Just so you know how serious I am about this. Suspension serious versus cancellation serious.) Procrastination be damned. Let’s do this.
PS Don’t be sad for me because the adoption didn’t go through. It was a catalyst for several awesome things, including me trying therapy for the first time. If you have never talked to a therapist, I highly recommend it. You learn so much about yourself, and it really puts life – and what you want out of it – into perspective.